Today has been a good day for me, a friend of mine and the new house mate has moved in. Spent the evening chatting and eating pizza, which was great. It was nice to have some company around the house at last and the new girl seems really friendly. It has really lifted my spirits up and I feel pretty relaxed right now.
Unfortunatly three days ago I did have a panic attack in the town and had to go back to the house after cooling off and I have been having physical signs of anxiety since. Luckily, I am able to calm them a bit with the breathing techniques that I have learnt.
On the whole though this week has been pretty good, admitidly I have over the last two days had a couple of moments when my depression has reared its ugly head. This was something to be expected though, as even though I do feel that I am getting better, I won’t lie, it is hard and for me to feel 100% better, it will take time. In the long run though, all this hard work will be worth it. I have thankfuly noticed though that I am finding I am able to snap out of depressive cycles easier than previously and that I can draw on positive thoughts to counteract it more often. Not to mention sometimes a few tears is a good way to let it all out and you do feel a lot better after. I did actually wake up today feeling a little low, but I managed to distract myself and for the rest of the day I have been in a good mood.
On another note, something good happened yesterday, I actually looked into the mirror while I was getting changed and did not think a single negative thought about my body. Infact, for the first time in as far as I can remember I actually was happy with my physical appearance. Although what was strange, was that my reaction was to burst into tears and I honestly have no idea why. If anything I would have thought that I would be smiling at myself in the mirror if I was to ever look at it and feel comfortable with my body, crying was not what I expected, but either way this is big progress. I want to try and keep it this way.
Anyway, as always I will keep you all updated on any further progress from me.