There are some days when my mind concerns itself with all that I am unable to do and fails to recognise all of my strengths. However, recently I have been trying to focus more on the positives, because if I can accept my good qualities I can become a happier person and will not need validation in order to feel like I am good at something. Learning to reinforce positive statements about yourself can help you to finally realise them, which will help boost self-esteem.
This is one of my current goals, to be able to associate more positive qualities with myself, feel more comfortable in my abilities and to stop focusing on my weaknesses and rather, look at my strengths instead.
Sometimes I find it’s easier to try to note them all down. Even if you cannot think of many positive qualities, think back to all the compliments or praise you have received and write them down too. If someone says something nice or compliments you in the day, when you get home, write it down. You will eventually end up with a big list of good qualities about yourself, that is also what I am really trying to aim for at least.
Some positive statement which I’ve currently managed to build up about myself:
- I’m a fun person who has a great personality and loves to laugh.
- I’m an easy-going person to talk to and I have many people who care about me.
- I can be quite passionate about issues that are important to me.
- I’m an intelligent person who gets good grades.
- I have the determination to overcome all my problems and make people proud.
- I have a nice pair of legs and my eyes are a pretty colour.
- Even though my drawing skills are far from being the next Van Gogh, if I put effort in they can still be quite good.
- I’m eccentric and full of some great and abstract ideas.
- I have a wild and vivid imagination.
Naturally there is still plenty of room for improvement as I need to accept a lot more positive aspects about me, but so far I am making a great start. I just have to keep reminding myself of them, so that if low moods do hit, they will not cause my positive statements to all go out the window.
Embrace your talents.
Just remember everyone is unique and different and we all have different strengths and weaknesses. Unfortunately we are more likely to over look other people’s weaknesses and notice their strengths more than our own.
So what if you can’t pick something up and lack skills in a certain area?
As long as you enjoy doing something, it should not matter as to how you compare to others, at the end of the day its your hobby, it’s for your enjoyment. Some people may be better than you at some things, but you could be better than them at other things.
After thinking things through, I have even told myself that maybe some people have an abundance of talents, but I could be more fun to be around and a nicer person, which sometimes can be better than any talent out there.
Sometimes you just need to enjoy your skills and avoid comparing them to others, otherwise you might start wrongly believing that you are lacking in talent. I have done this many times, for example I believed that my art work was terrible, just because in comparison to those better than me, mine didn’t really look that good. In reality there were a lot of people who I ended up being better more skilled in art than and through their eyes, they consider my work to be really good. A skill does not have to be as good as someone else’s to still be considered a good skill.
Besides even if you can’t do something, you are only human, you won’t be able do everything, but that’s fine, its normal.